


Forever? Only in my dreams

by You6Are6All6Sheep



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Angst, I don't even know how to tag, Life is hard, M/M, OT3 but you kind of have to squint, Poor Uhtred, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29551938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You6Are6All6Sheep/pseuds/You6Are6All6Sheep
Summary: When dreams can be nightmares nobody is safe, Uhtred just wants to be home with his family.
Relationships: Finan/Sihtric/Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Comments: 13
Kudos: 4





	Forever? Only in my dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, thank to my lovely friends and inspirorers (don't care if its not real, lol) Chasyn and Wynne!! You guys are the best!

"I want this to be my forever" he sighed out content in soaking up as much sun as he could, while laying in the newly born field. The grass already tall and soft enough to consider stuffing a mattress with. There was a small chuckle above him.

"You liar, you would get tired of lying here after half a day."

"You dare call me a liar?" He tried for mock sterness, but he was just to content at the moment. It had been so very long since he had felt some semblance of peace. He never wanted to get up again.

"I dare," -the soft voice came with even softer finger tips caressing the side of his face. He couldn't help but to sigh again and lean into the touch he missed so much. As much as he wanted to lay and bask in the warmth and the touch and deny the world around them, he wanted to see him again. Needed to see him again. To look into eyes that were kind, held the light of life within them. He couldn't seem to open his own eyes though, the more he tried the heavier they seemed to grow. He just wanted to see him! To look into his beautiful face and know that everything was going to be okay. Why couldn't he do that?

"You need to come back to us my lord." This startled him. What an absurd thing to say, he was right here. He had not gone anywhere and certainly had no plans to go anywhere that his men could not follow, especially not his man, his Sihtric. He would never go where he could not. Though he could not see him he knew the touches he was feeling belonged to the person he cared for most. Featherlight caresses moved from his face to his hair, he could feel Sihtric playing with it like he did before. Wait. Before?

There was no before, there was only now. Right? Right. There was only now. He settled back down, he wanted to enjoy this moment as much as he could before they needed to move out again. As soon as he reclaimed his lands, he was going to make sure that he made time to do this.   
"Sihtric?" The other man hummed in response letting him know that he was listening, "Once I have taken back my lands would you lie with me like this? When I am finally in my rightful place and have too many demands asked of me? Will you seek this peace with me?" The fingers in his hair stopped their movement, a shadow fell over him blocking out his warm sun causing him to shiver slightly at the loss.

"Do you not wish to answer? Would you say no?" The thought of that was saddening to him, the shadow did not move nor did it answer him. His good mood turned sour, "I would not require it of you, but I think it would be- nice" he tried the word out. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, wasn't exactly what he meant. 

The shadow that had blocked out the sun seemed to get darker, he wasn't sure how he knew as he hadn't managed to be able to open his eyes this whole time. The air just felt darker, it even felt colder now. Like winter had walked upon him and embraced him. It made it harder to breathe. He wheezed, the sudden onslaught of cold had his body aching in places not even battles touched. He didn't understand what was going on. Where had the beautiful day gone? Where had Sihtric gone? He shuddered once again causing his body to ache even more. Waves of hopelessness came crashing over him as reality found him once again.

He hated these dreams, they had become more like nightmares to him. Teasing him with futures that'll never be. He felt the tears on his cheeks, the only thing that was warm while the rest of him froze. He finally managed to open his eyes, only to be met with the impenetrable darkness of his current life. He wasn't back home, he wasn't with the people he loved. He wasn't really sure where he was anymore. He'd given up caring, he tried his utmost to maintain a strong appearance for the others, but the longer they were here and in captivity the harder it became. As of late, more often than not, he really wishes their captors would kill him. Release him of his burdens.  
He didn't want to be the one holding everyone else up anymore. He was tired, oh so very tired.

The darkness wasn't just figurative as it was in the early hours of the time of the new moon, so the only lights were those of the stars that shone above. He lay on the ground silently waiting for the violent awakening that was sure to be close at hand. Another day of brutal work and brutal beatings to accompany, maybe some escape plotting if he were put with the right people. Maybe if he stopped encouraging it? 

"Uhtred." the call was quiet, barely even uttered, still it caused him to flinch.   
"Uhtred." his name was called once again just as quietly. He tilted his head in the direction he felt the voice coming from. It was Finan, his one torch in this bleak, desolate adventure he was on. He made it a point not to need others, especially to lean on in hard times. Finan though he had made an exception for, he needed him. He most definitely would not make it through this ordeal if the Irishman ever decided to leave his side. 

Still lost in his own world, he felt Finan find his hand and intertwine their fingers. Their hands were cold, but it helped to warm him some.

"We're going to make it out of this," Uhtred wasn't sure he truly believed the man, but he gripped the hand in his sending what little reassurance he could muster. Looking back to the stars, he sighed; one day at a time. They would find a way out of this misery. He would find the determination to get them out of this. 

This would not be his forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Was meant to be when Uhtred and Finan were slaves, but things took a twist and it turned into a bit of a vaguely AU-ish...thing. Not really sure. Anyway I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
